Asheo and Mistiet
by Robin Kirkman
Act 1, Scene 3

Officer Jenny (Escalus): Princess of Pallet
Brock (Paris): Kinsmen to Jenny
Prof Oak (Montague): One head of two warring households
Boss (Capulet): The other household's head
Old Man (An Old Man): Uncle to Prof Oak
Ash (Romeo): Son of Prof Oak
James (Mercutio): Kinsmen to Brock, friend of Ash
Gary (Benvolio): Nephew to Prof Oak, friend to Ash
Meowth (Tybalt): Nephew to Persian
Prof Oak's Aide (Friar Lawrence): A Franciscan
Balthasar: Servant to Ash
Sampson, Gregory: Servants to Boss
Peter: Servant to Misty's Nurse
Abraham: Servant to Prof Oak
Drug Dealer: An apothecary
Heavy Metal Band: Three musicians
Crowd: chorus
Mail Boy: Page to Brock
Policeman: An officer
Ash's Mom (Lady Montague): Wife to Prof Oak
Jessie (Lady Capulet): Wife to Boss
Misty (Juliet): Daughter of Boss
Nurse Joy (Juliet's Nurse): Nurse to Misty

Act 1, Scene 3

A room in the Team Rocket Headquarters.

Enter Jessie and Nurse Joy.

Jessie: Joy, where's my daughter? Go find the little twit and bring her here.
Nurse Joy: Why sure. I'll find that girl if I have to go through every pool in the headquarters. She's been with the water types since she was twelve.

Jessie mumbles something to herself about promptness of service, and also that Nurse Joy should take off work in the Headquarter's pokecenter. Aparently, the ether has gotten to her head.

Nurse joy runs off, shouting "Misty!" into every room before trying the girl's own. Me thinks she really -should- stop with the ether.

Nurse Joy open's the door and finds Misty lying on her bed, holding a Horsea.

Nurse Joy: There you are! I've searched all over!

Nurse Joy adds to herself that Misty should take better care of her pokemon.
My my, Joy is quite high today ;)

Misty: What do you need me for?
Nurse Joy: Jessie sent me to get you.
Misty: Urf.

Misty sits up, and as she is walking to the door, Nurse Joy snatches the Horsea, runs off into the pokecenter, and plops it into a tank. Nurse Joy returs to find Misty and her mother talking. Or, rather, Jessie is talking, Misty is thinking about Horsea.

Seeing that Misty hasn't paid her a scrap of attention, Jessie turns to the hyperactive Nurse Joy.

Jessie: Misty is growing up. She's nearly come of age to marry.

Nurse Joy is also in a dream world, but not completely.

Joy: Yes, her age. I know that. I could tell you it to the hour.

Jessie get's an annoyed look on her face, and makes a mental note to make sure Nurse Joy goes with Misty when she marries.

Jessie: She's nearly fourteen. And I'm trying to have a serious conversation, here. Can you stop thinking of pokemon?

Nurse Joy settles down, and seems a little calmer.

Joy: That's true, she's not fourteen. How long to April Fools day?
Jessie: Just a little over two weeks. Why?
Joy: On that night, Misty will be fourteen.

Nurse Joy gets a whistfull look in her eye, and Jessie prepares for the inveitable sermon to come.

Joy: Misty and Susan,
God bless poor Susan, for she is with god,
are to come of age on April Fools.
A jolly night it will be, I'm sure of it. For Misty, anyways.
Susan, on the other hand, is with god,
god bless her soul
and every day and night is heaven for her.

Yes, Misty will marry on that day.
I remember when she was first weaned,
it was eleven years ago after the earthquake.
Terrible earthquake, my yes. The poor poor pokemon!

I rember my poor husband, he is with god,
god bless him,
picking Misty up when she learned to walk.
"Why," said he, "do you fall on your face?
When you are wiser, you will fall on your back."

I never imagined such a jest could come about,
but it has, and Misty is

Jessie, not being able to take it any longer, roared a mighty "SHUT UP!". Nurse Joy, now settled back down from her frenzy, and Jessie calmed down. Seeing that her master was again tolerant, however, Nurse Joy began again.

Misty: Nurse, please stop! My ears hurt.
Nurse Joy: All I want is to see you married. I beg your pardon for over-reacting, but it's such a joyous event.

Jessie takes Misty aside, trying to keep out the persistent Nurse Joy, somewhat unsuccessfully.

Jessie: Yes, marriage is what I wanted to talk to you about.
Tell me Misty, what would you say to being married?
Misty: Wow! Me? Someone wants to marry me? That's so romantic!

Nurse Joy manages to stick her head into the private huddle, introducing her own comments.

Joy: Yes! Being married is great! It's an honor!

Jessie gave Joy a look that, had i described it, would have caused your eyes to explode upon reading about it. Yes, it was -that- annoyed. Jessie has a very short temper for hyperactive superhappy nosy nurses.

Jessie began again.

Jessie: Right. Well, think of marriage now.
Here in Pallet, many ladies are happily married younger than you,
in fact, some are even mothers!
But briefly, the great Brock, of Pewter City seeks your hand.

Nutse Joy, still unable to resist getting in her part, stuck her hed in again.

Nurse: Brock is like superman! Without a girlfriend, either!

Rather than a peacefull confrontation, Jessie pulls out a mallet and thwaks the nurse, sending her to the other end of the room. Jessie mumbles something about nursemaid unions, then continues her discussion without interruption, because Joy is currently out for the count.

Jessie: Right, Brock is one of the finest men in all the land.
Seeking you hand in matrimony is an honor none would refuse.
At the party tonight, you'll meet him. Look over him,
see how he compares to the other boys there.
Within time, I know you will love him.
So prepare yourself to your best.
Do all those fashion things you do, I don't understand them.

Jessie glances at her Team Rocket uniform while saying this, unconsiously admitting that it -is- rather odd looking.

Jessie: When you have danced with him, come to me, and tell me of him.
I am sure you will be pleasantly suprised.

Misty is looking a little insecure here, she being about to meet her future husband. Jessie sees this and gives Misty a warm hug, murmuring soothing phrases.

Misty: Okay, mother. I will. I'm just a little scared, that's all.

Enter a servant, running. He looks like he has something rather important to say.

Servant: Madam! The guests are arriving!

Jessie hears this, thanks the servant with a whollop from a mallet for not telling her sooner, then rushes to the reception room in the headquarters.

Nurse Joy wakes up with a lump on her head, sees people rushing around, and decides to get one last thing in to Misty before she puts herself in the infirmary.

When she begins to speak, Misty whips around, startled by the Nurse's forgotten presence.

Nurse: Remember, child, seek happy nights to happy days. Brock is for you.


That took me a while to get around to doing, but finally, scene 3 is done.

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